Fashion Friends.

Ladies and Gentlemen. AND BY GENTLEMEN, I mean my husband because he’s the only guy reading my blog for right now!

I present to you a few looks my interior designer pal, Sonja and I styled last Sunday for absolutely no reason at all. We both love clothes more than life itself and wanted to document our obsession.

Sonja, like the french dresses up all the time. Doesn’t matter if it’s the movies or a slumber party, she is always the quintessential “lady”.
She has even made me want to wear my good clothes more and generally do better.

Because honestly at times I can be dressed to the nines and then turn around the next day and be a complete slob (truthiness).

The thing I love about having a fashionable friend (and generally a great friend too) is that when you say let’s go grab coffee, you both put on your best clothes. So if you see us at your local walmart in heels don’t judge our journey.

It’s like what’s the point of having great clothes and have them sit in your closet!  It’s just dumb and a waste of the hubs money.

So we’ve decided to meet each week and do a photoshoot until we run out of clothes, which the way our closets are set up that will never happen! So check back for more pictures in the future.

Here’s a few of our looks! Enjoy!

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Jacket: Etienne Aigner Trench, Goodwill
Shirt, Shorts: H&M
Shoes: Sam Edelman, Goodwill

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Top: Love 21
Necklace: Designed by Sonja
Skirt: Vintage

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Denim Shirt: Goodwill
Necklace: Walmart (what?)
Skirt: Sheinside.com
Shoes: Moddeals.com

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Jacket: Love 21
Dress: Altuzarra for Target

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Top, Vest: Forever 21
Skirt: Vintage Lace
Shoes: Journeys

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Jacket: Love 21
Leather Tank: Cynthia Rowley
Skirt: Vintage from Goodwill
Shoes: Nine West

What’s Trending Tuesday! Night Edition!

As a housewife, sometimes I forget what it feels like to have an adult conversation.  Whenever I am able go out with friends (when I get granted parole from my daughter the Warden), I find myself a little clueless with pop culture and/or big moments in Fashion if I’m unable to surf the internets or check Facebook before heading out! I can barely type this post with out tears falling or a naked body running around (sounds like a payday at a Strip Club).

I hate that we live in a FOMO (Fear.Of.Missing.Out.) society. It’s most likely a result of all the damb over-sharing we experience on a daily basis. I wouldn’t be surprise if people stathats-too-much-informationrted sharing their pap smears by Skype in the near future.(Wow your ovaries look viable, Congrats).

So for us busy moms (or busy people) who have no time to catch up or scroll through their FB timeline, here’s the top five things happening in the world of fashion that will keep you in the loop when at the dinner table with your cool, well-dressed and kid-less friends (they’re beautiful unicorns).

FIVE:

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Ooh Kanye you wrong for this..

I think its’ time to have an style intervention with Kim Kardashian. Don’t get me wrong, I actually love the way Kim has been dressing lately. She embodies the “just cause I had a baby doesn’t mean you die and your clothing choices should too” look that I love sooo much. I even recreated my own “Kimspired” look for my Instagram page. But as of late, something has gone terribly awry! Kim has signed on to be the new face of the Eau de Death Eaters (smells like grave yards and regret).

And somewhere Draco Malfoy is pissed and is ready to lip-synch for his life on RuPaul’s Drag Race. Did you see him “sissy that walk” when he ran off with his parents in the last Harry Potter? Fierce! I wish that movie would have ended in a walk off between him, Potter and Voldermort. Oh my god, my life would have completed its purposgiphyrupaule. I’ll stop, this is a conversation for another day.

Kimmie debut her bleach blond look this past weekend during Paris Fashion Week. I hope she scales it back a little though on the hair and sheer dresses soon. I love seeing her unconventional outfits (or at least the ones Kanye tells her to wear) but her new hair-do is distracting. But I’ll give my girl some slack, celebrities must do LOTS OF CRAY to stay in the limelight. Let’s thank the Lord above that at least its’ just hair this week.

FOUR:

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Image Source: The Guardian
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Well effing done.

Karl Lagerfeld turned his Chanel runway into a GIANT STARBUCKS! Okay Im kidding it was a recreation of french Cafe. The New York Times called it “Breakfast at Chanel”. In the show, they actually handed out real life snacks AND juice which of course I’m sure no one ate. It seriously was the most ahmazing runway show I’ve ever seen in a while. When its’ Paris Fashion week, DESIGNERS GO ALL THE WAY IN THE PAINT. And by paint, some poor souls literally stayed up all week building a real life La Madeleine (give me some Apple Bread now) all for 12 minute show. That has to hurt in the deepest of all places in your body but hopefully they got paid some serious coin.

THREE:

Speaking of Paris Fashion week, OMG there was Zoolander reunion in Valentino show last night (or this morning). Ben Stiller and Owen Wilson gave serious face while hitting the runway to promote Zoolander Part Deux, which comes out February 2016.  I have to be honest and say that I haven’t seen the greatest film ever made in its’ entirety. I’m pretty sure when I watched it, I was making out with my high school boyfriend at the time (speaking of oversharing).

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What say we settle this on the runway… Han-Solo? Are you challenging me to a walk-off… Boo-Lander? Image Source: Vogue.com

But I think I got the gist of the film. Fierce walks, epic stares and heavy eyeliner. Got it. This isn’t the first time a designer used celebrities to promote their runway shows. And in this world of “advertise things anywhere you can” I’m sure it won’t be the last time either.

TWO:

Here’s another list inside of my already top five list because I am woman who talks and types in A.D.D tangents:

1. Gingham 2.White on White 3.Yellow 4.Wide Leg Denim and 5.Shirt Dresses.

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Image Source: Google

If you don’t have any these trends in your closet for Spring 2015, go ahead and volunteer as tribute. I’m kidding, next week I’ll post my outfits of the top trends of Spring 2015 and tell you where and how to find them.

And for my number ONE Trend for Tuesday:

THIS BLOG! No honestly, I ran out of fashion things to say but I want everyone to take the time look at what’s happening at the White House, Oklahoma and Madison,Wisconsin. Personally, I use fashion as my escape method, but there’s nothing wrong keeping up with current world events either. Its’ tough watching the news right now. As soon as the world starts getting stupid, I log onto Pinterest, drink a glass of wine and pull the covers over my head. But as human beings, we should stay informed on more than the superficial things of life.

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Tell me when its over Jesus.

So if you want your Fashion information with a side of humor, current world news and glass of sweet tea (mixed with Vodka) come back and visit my page. The world is too complex for everything to be about clothes. Fashion can be amazing pieces of walking art but in the end it’s just clothes. Okay now you’ve been informed.Go to your fancy dinners this week if you’re lucky and try to make it past 9pm. Enjoy.

The look for less than you think…

Oh my God (Tay-Tay Swift voice), its been a super crazy couple of months in the world of Fashion. Why heck, its been a couple of crazy months for me and the hubs. I’ve been seriously procrastinating in the blogging and starting a business situation of my life. My pimp has so much slack right now.

About two months ago, we moved into our brand new house. And then all hell broke loose. First, there was flood in the bathroom that damaged a good chunk of our hardwood floors. Then we lost power to our AC/HEAT unit for two days, while trying to change a thermostat (I’m no Bob Villa). And to top it off, a sewer pipe overflowed back into our tub (gross) while trying to prep our house for a visit from my in-laws. AND maybe because I’m a masochist, I also hosted my son’s Birthday party AND a Superbowl party within a one week span. I just sat down for the first time in 3 months. My legs feel like Jello and we are out of wine (Jesus where are you with those magical wine filling capabilities. Fill it Jesus!)

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Someone buy this shirt for me right now!!!

Speaking of Superbowl, this weekend is the Super Bowl of all fashion events, the Oscars. A dream come true to those of us who love the fashion industry. It also marks the end of Mercedes Benz Fashion week, so excuse me why I cry a few tears into my shirt and scream. Unfortunately going to Fashion Week or attending the Oscars is something us regular folk can only sit back and watch from a TV screen (for now muhahahahaha). Sadly we are outsiders standing in front a window filled with Christian Louboutin Shoes and Marchesa gowns.

So what does the everyday small town Fashionista have to look forward to? Well get out your war paint ladies and gents! Grab your tennis shoes or rain boots cause WINTER CLEARANCE SALES are underway! Grab whatever Sallie Mae has left you from your refund check and head to the stores! You may be reading this and thinking its probably too late (drake-isms), but its NOT! I promise! January and February (spell it right WHITE HOUSE) are the best time to get the real deep discounts. Forget that “after Christmas sales non-sense” too. Its a distraction from the sales that can really save you money.

funny-people-shopping-Black-fridayRetail stores, like most businesses do not operate on a regular calendar. They break everything down into 4 quarters. Before a quarter is even finished companies have already moved on to the next quarter (or season in the fashion terms). Which if you work(ed) in retail like myself for ten years this can make your job it frustrating as hell.

Here’s a common scenario you will hear in a store around this time:

Stock Guy: What do you want me to do with this box of 600 Neon Aztec Swimsuits?

Me: What? WE STILL HAVE SIX HUNNID NEON COW PRINT SWEATERS ON THE FLOOR!! How am I supposed to merchandise Cow Print sweaters and swimsuits together?? (Rambles in other language I’ve made up, then throws boxes on the ground)

Stock Guy: Can I take a smoke break?

Me:……..

So around Christmas you’re stuck trying sell a table full of fuzzy cow sweaters next to rack full of Aztec swimsuits. Maybe in a larger market like New York or L.A. you can convince a shopper that the New Aztec Festival Farmer look is the hottest new trend. But for the rest of country the (especially here in the south), people are generally basic (no shade) and most fashion concepts that stores try to sell makes no sense to the average shopper. Thus retailers MUST get rid of their old winter product ASAP.

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Read em’ and weep.

Shopping through endless racks of clearance is my absolute favorite thing to do. I see a red sale sign and I light up like a Christmas tree. But seriously, during the clearance sales season I have to take a pause and shop at only one or two stores. I like to shop at my local T.J Maxx or Marshalls where I buy designer items marked down for an even lower price.

Stores are heavily discounting (almost up to 70%) winter coats, boots, and large leather bags. But heed my warning, only by CLASSIC ITEMS that can stand the test of time. Stray away from leather bomber jackets with skulls and silver spikes. Trendy items will come back around again, but only buy them in tops or accessories. Coats and Boots purchases should carry you through several seasons.

I went to Ross a couple of weeks ago and I sweater gawd I had a mini orgasm in the middle of the store. T.M.I I know, but they marked their winter items down to as low as FORTY FIVE CENTS!! Yes you READ that! For less than the price of a steak buffet in a dirty hotel in Vegas, I bought a dress, two pairs of pants, 4 sweaters, a purse and a Kimono all for less than $14.I send out a bird call to my family (my bad friends) and they circled the store like Vultures. We cleaned that place out like the last batch of chicken wings at the club.THANKS TO THIS ETERNAL WINTER SET BY ELSA, I still have a chance to wear most of it which is awesome. Check out more pics of my haul below.

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My Sweater Haul!

Sadly I saw some customers making another huge shopping mistake while digging through Clearance racks. It is a disease that afflicts so many people, particularity the older generation of African American women (I’m talking to you momma nem’). It is called JBS, also known as Just Buying Sh*T. Millions of women just be shopping, be shopping buying stuff they absolutely do NOT need. I saw an old lady with an entire cart full of clothes. MAM? Where are you headed with those leopard leggings out of the Junior section? Come back here right now!

Just because it’s on sale doesn’t mean you need it. While shopping, ask yourself, “Will I wear this a year from now?” If the answer is no, then put it down (Grabs BULL HORN) PUT IT DOWN! Often JBS is the leading cause of some worlds’ greatest fashion crimes. Do us all a favor and stapphhhhhhhhhhhh! Again (I am screaming this loudly while typing) stick to classic silhouettes and colors. If you are unsure if something is considered classic, checkout People Style Watch and In Style magazine.They always have great articles on what looks to keep and toss.

So what’s the take away from this post:

Shop JANUARY AND FEBRUARY for classic winter items and SEPTEMBER and OCTOBER for Summer items. If you see signs that say “Christmas Blow Out” or “JULY SHOPPING SPECTACULAR” run motherfudgers run. Just sit back, be patient and shop during those months for the best savings.

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Imitation Leather Shorts By Forever 21

One last thing, many of my friends asked how to do have so many great clothes? Well two things… I GO FREAKING SHOPPING! Yes I know some of you hate shopping but if you never shop, you will never find anything. I also buy things without having an intention or place in my mind to wear them. So if you see something you like and the price is right, FREAKING BUY IT. If you are unsure how to wear it, you can also seek advice from your friendly neighborhood stylist (cough cough). Now go forth, before all the good stuff is gone! My family and I have cleared out most of my city, but I’ve linked below some of my favorite online stores with the best clearance sales on the web! Enjoy.

Forever 21

Choies

T.J Maxx 

A.S.O.S

H&M 

Dorthy Perkins

River Island

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Sweet purse for $1.49

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Left: Black Acid Wash .49 cents Right: Vintage Pink Levis $1.49

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Festival Style $3.99