Oh my God (Tay-Tay Swift voice), its been a super crazy couple of months in the world of Fashion. Why heck, its been a couple of crazy months for me and the hubs. I’ve been seriously procrastinating in the blogging and starting a business situation of my life. My pimp has so much slack right now.
About two months ago, we moved into our brand new house. And then all hell broke loose. First, there was flood in the bathroom that damaged a good chunk of our hardwood floors. Then we lost power to our AC/HEAT unit for two days, while trying to change a thermostat (I’m no Bob Villa). And to top it off, a sewer pipe overflowed back into our tub (gross) while trying to prep our house for a visit from my in-laws. AND maybe because I’m a masochist, I also hosted my son’s Birthday party AND a Superbowl party within a one week span. I just sat down for the first time in 3 months. My legs feel like Jello and we are out of wine (Jesus where are you with those magical wine filling capabilities. Fill it Jesus!)
Speaking of Superbowl, this weekend is the Super Bowl of all fashion events, the Oscars. A dream come true to those of us who love the fashion industry. It also marks the end of Mercedes Benz Fashion week, so excuse me why I cry a few tears into my shirt and scream. Unfortunately going to Fashion Week or attending the Oscars is something us regular folk can only sit back and watch from a TV screen (for now muhahahahaha). Sadly we are outsiders standing in front a window filled with Christian Louboutin Shoes and Marchesa gowns.
So what does the everyday small town Fashionista have to look forward to? Well get out your war paint ladies and gents! Grab your tennis shoes or rain boots cause WINTER CLEARANCE SALES are underway! Grab whatever Sallie Mae has left you from your refund check and head to the stores! You may be reading this and thinking its probably too late (drake-isms), but its NOT! I promise! January and February (spell it right WHITE HOUSE) are the best time to get the real deep discounts. Forget that “after Christmas sales non-sense” too. Its a distraction from the sales that can really save you money.
Retail stores, like most businesses do not operate on a regular calendar. They break everything down into 4 quarters. Before a quarter is even finished companies have already moved on to the next quarter (or season in the fashion terms). Which if you work(ed) in retail like myself for ten years this can make your job it frustrating as hell.
Here’s a common scenario you will hear in a store around this time:
Stock Guy: What do you want me to do with this box of 600 Neon Aztec Swimsuits?
Me: What? WE STILL HAVE SIX HUNNID NEON COW PRINT SWEATERS ON THE FLOOR!! How am I supposed to merchandise Cow Print sweaters and swimsuits together?? (Rambles in other language I’ve made up, then throws boxes on the ground)
Stock Guy: Can I take a smoke break?
So around Christmas you’re stuck trying sell a table full of fuzzy cow sweaters next to rack full of Aztec swimsuits. Maybe in a larger market like New York or L.A. you can convince a shopper that the New Aztec Festival Farmer look is the hottest new trend. But for the rest of country the (especially here in the south), people are generally basic (no shade) and most fashion concepts that stores try to sell makes no sense to the average shopper. Thus retailers MUST get rid of their old winter product ASAP.
Shopping through endless racks of clearance is my absolute favorite thing to do. I see a red sale sign and I light up like a Christmas tree. But seriously, during the clearance sales season I have to take a pause and shop at only one or two stores. I like to shop at my local T.J Maxx or Marshalls where I buy designer items marked down for an even lower price.
Stores are heavily discounting (almost up to 70%) winter coats, boots, and large leather bags. But heed my warning, only by CLASSIC ITEMS that can stand the test of time. Stray away from leather bomber jackets with skulls and silver spikes. Trendy items will come back around again, but only buy them in tops or accessories. Coats and Boots purchases should carry you through several seasons.
I went to Ross a couple of weeks ago and I sweater gawd I had a mini orgasm in the middle of the store. T.M.I I know, but they marked their winter items down to as low as FORTY FIVE CENTS!! Yes you READ that! For less than the price of a steak buffet in a dirty hotel in Vegas, I bought a dress, two pairs of pants, 4 sweaters, a purse and a Kimono all for less than $14.I send out a bird call to my family (my bad friends) and they circled the store like Vultures. We cleaned that place out like the last batch of chicken wings at the club.THANKS TO THIS ETERNAL WINTER SET BY ELSA, I still have a chance to wear most of it which is awesome. Check out more pics of my haul below.
Sadly I saw some customers making another huge shopping mistake while digging through Clearance racks. It is a disease that afflicts so many people, particularity the older generation of African American women (I’m talking to you momma nem’). It is called JBS, also known as Just Buying Sh*T. Millions of women just be shopping, be shopping buying stuff they absolutely do NOT need. I saw an old lady with an entire cart full of clothes. MAM? Where are you headed with those leopard leggings out of the Junior section? Come back here right now!
Just because it’s on sale doesn’t mean you need it. While shopping, ask yourself, “Will I wear this a year from now?” If the answer is no, then put it down (Grabs BULL HORN) PUT IT DOWN! Often JBS is the leading cause of some worlds’ greatest fashion crimes. Do us all a favor and stapphhhhhhhhhhhh! Again (I am screaming this loudly while typing) stick to classic silhouettes and colors. If you are unsure if something is considered classic, checkout People Style Watch and In Style magazine.They always have great articles on what looks to keep and toss.
So what’s the take away from this post:
Shop JANUARY AND FEBRUARY for classic winter items and SEPTEMBER and OCTOBER for Summer items. If you see signs that say “Christmas Blow Out” or “JULY SHOPPING SPECTACULAR” run motherfudgers run. Just sit back, be patient and shop during those months for the best savings.
One last thing, many of my friends asked how to do have so many great clothes? Well two things… I GO FREAKING SHOPPING! Yes I know some of you hate shopping but if you never shop, you will never find anything. I also buy things without having an intention or place in my mind to wear them. So if you see something you like and the price is right, FREAKING BUY IT. If you are unsure how to wear it, you can also seek advice from your friendly neighborhood stylist (cough cough). Now go forth, before all the good stuff is gone! My family and I have cleared out most of my city, but I’ve linked below some of my favorite online stores with the best clearance sales on the web! Enjoy.